It was January 17, 2020 around 3 PM and I was in active labor. This was really happening and we were really going to be having a baby at 28 weeks. My parents had just arrived at the hospital, for what was supposed to be a quiet weekend of them visiting. I was contracting, one right after another, and things were starting to progress pretty quickly. We knew Layne was going to be coming that evening and everyone around us was doing everything needed to prep for her arrival. The nurses were prepping the room. The doctors were discussing birthing options and the neonatologists and NICU team were finalizing how they would proceed with Layne once she arrived.
At this point I had been transferred into a labor and delivery room and I was having contractions every 3-5 minutes. Each contraction would take my breath away. They were rough and painful, but manageable. Jeff would stand and hold my hand as I would breathe in and out until the pain was gone. Then just as soon as he would sit down and get comfortable another contraction would come and we were back at it. The nurse noticed my discomfort and suggested an epidural was available as soon as I was ready. I thought about it for a second and I really wanted the pain to go away, but I was terrified to get the epidural. I was scared of the pain of the needle, so I told her I would get it after a few more contractions. Well a few more contractions would come and go, and the nurse asked again, and I would tell her “just a few more contractions”. I think I told her “just a few more contractions” 20 times before I finally broke down and said I was ready.
In preparation for the epidural, the nurse had me sit up in the bed and slowly make my way to the edge. I had been on magnesium a few hours prior, so I was feeling pretty lightheaded and nauseous already and sitting up was not helping. It had been a few minutes and I was not able to shake the feeling of being lightheaded, and on top of that, they were starting to lose Layne’s heart rate on the monitors. Things were starting to get scary. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, Jeff was sitting in front of me holding a wet rag on my forehead and the nurse was continuously adjusting the monitors to ensure Layne’s HR was always visible. After what felt like a lifetime, the anesthesiologist comes in. He immediately started with prepping and placing the epidural. As he continued I was feeling so much pressure in my back. I could feel his every move and I was starting to get really lightheaded. The room was starting to go black and I told the nurse that I think I need to lay down. She asked the anesthesiologist if I was able to lay down, and he said no. He then called for the nurse to take my blood pressure and it was 80/60. They ran it again and it came back the same. I was fading out quickly. I am not sure how, but I kept it together and finally was able to lay down. They covered my face with wet rags and within a few minutes I was feeling much better. Magnesium is nasty stuff and it makes you feel terrible.
Within minutes of getting the epidural I was feeling no pain. It was amazing. My body was able to rest and it was much needed. Unfortunately, I did not get to rest for long. The on-call doctor comes into our room and tells us she is starting to get concerned with Layne’s heart rate. Every single time I had a contraction in the past she was able to handle them like a champ. She never seemed bothered by them, but this time was different. Every time I would contract, her heart rate would drop and it was taking longer and longer for it to come back up. This was very concerning to the doctor. She told us that if this trend continues I would be rushed back to the operating room for an emergency C-section. She said she would return to the nurses station to watch the monitor readings and if anything changed she would let us know. No sooner after her walking out of our room was she right back in saying it was time to have a baby. Her heart rate was dropping and not coming back up and things were put in motion for an emergency C-section.
Our room immediately swarmed with people. It was so chaotic. During this time they lost Layne’s heart rate on the monitors and it was not coming back. They adjusted the monitors and still could not find it and within minutes I was being rolled out of the room. I hugged my mom and smiled at Jeff and headed down the hallway into the operating room. Jeff was unable to come initially as they needed to make sure I did not need to be fully intubated. After getting into the OR and onto the table the nurses hooked all the monitors back up and the computer in the OR was not working, so they still could not find Layne’s heart rate. Someone yelled for a portable monitor and within minutes they returned to the OR with one. The nurse hooked it up and after what seemed like forever of searching she was finally able to find it. I had never been so relieved. It was truly the scariest moment of my life. I thought in that moment that we had lost her.
After things had settled in the operating room they began prepping for the C-section. Anesthesiologists were asking questions and determining the right amount of medicine needed to ensure I could stay awake and not be fully sedated. Once it was determined that I did not have to be fully sedated the doctor called for Jeff to come in, and I was so thankful. He rushed in and sat behind my head and held my hands as the doctors began the surgery. Within minutes I was feeling intense pressure. I could feel their every move and it was the wildest thing ever. I was so calm, but so scared. I was nervous for Layne and what was going to happen after she was born. I think it was a combination of the nerves and the medicine, but soon after the surgery started I began to shake. I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn’t make it stop. Jeff was asking if I was okay, and I remember hearing him, but I could not answer.
During the C-section, every few minutes or so, the doctor would speak up with an update on how things were going. They did an amazing job at keeping me updated, and I was so thankful for that. It had felt like hours, but I think it was only five minutes or so after the start of the C-section the doctor tells us that Layne is out and has been rushed to be with the neonatologists. I remember thinking that they did not say she was not breathing, so this must be a good sign. I was holding onto all hope and keeping my spirits high. As they were stitching me up the doctor sent a nurse to check on Layne. The nurse returned and told me she was alive and stable, and that they were able to get her intubated. I remember smiling and being so happy. She was beating all the odds against her and I was just so proud in that moment.
Oh , I am amazed at your writing , I feel like I am with you and as a woman can relate to all the love you are feeling, my tears are flowing, thinking of your mom and the pain she is experiencing, Amber’s pressure dropped seriously low and she hemmoraged right after she gave birth, never in my life was I more frightened , that is just half of what your mom was going through. This is definitely your story but as a grandma I feel her pain too. You are such an amazing lady, keep your strong faith. This lifeoffcedarlayne, has touched all that have read it. Thanks for sharing.